


And tell me there are things that you regret. ('Cause If I'm being honest I ain't over you yet)

by herebecauselarry



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Diary/Journal, Healing, How Do I Tag, M/M, im between high school or college au, just a tiny bit of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 06:18:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13001661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herebecauselarry/pseuds/herebecauselarry
Summary: You are heartbroken.You are coping.You are healing.





	And tell me there are things that you regret. ('Cause If I'm being honest I ain't over you yet)

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on personal experience. These are my entries while I was healing from a hard break up.  
> It's written in the second person because it's easier for me to write that way.
> 
> Hope you like it. 
> 
> The title is from: Too Much To Ask - Niall Horan

**Day 0**

You asked me out, which was weird because you never did anymore.  
I rearranged my schedule with Pepper, so we would not be interrupted.  
“It’s just lunch.” You said like it was not a big deal.  
I got ready and waited for you. You were going to pick me up, that never happened.  
When you arrived you came all the way to my door, while we were walking towards your car you held my hand, you opened the door for me. Never once did you look at me in the eyes.  
You said nothing on the way, and I was too nervous to strike up any type of small talk.  
You opened the door for me again when we arrived, you ordered for me and you insisted to pay. Something felt off.  
We ate in silence for a while, and when you finally looked at me it was to break my heart.  
“We should break up,” you started. “I don’t feel anything for you anymore, and we really don’t see each other that much.” You were looking at me, but I could not muster the force to lift my stare from my plate. “I don’t love you anymore.”  
You were expecting an answer, but all I could think about was my broken heart and how a week earlier while we were chatting you couldn’t seem to stop telling me how much you loved me.  
“We would be better as friends.” You said.  
I nodded, without listening, and you let out a sigh of relief saying how happy you were that I had understood.  
All I could think about was how much I loved you.

**Day 2**

I threw away the chocolates I was going to give you, they wouldn’t taste sweet.

**Day 13**

I dreamed of you. Your stupid blue eyes and your perfect hair invaded my mind.  
My last memory of you didn't seem to leave me alone. Your look, your gestures.  
And how your voice sounded when you said you didn’t love me anymore.  
I guess I won’t be over you soon.

**Day 37**

I cannot get you out of my mind.  
Every time I try to forget you, you reappear in my thoughts.  
I still look at your number on my phone and lie awake at night thinking about your eyes.

**Day 73**

I cried today.  
I had not cried since you broke my heart, since the day of my parents’ accident.  
I cried today while thinking about you.  
Why didn’t you love me?  
Why wasn’t I enough?

**Day 121**

Your birthday came.  
I sent you a ‘happy birthday’ message while looking through our chat.  
The last unseen message I had sent you still hurt.  
“I still love you.”

**Day 181**

I thought about your eyes all day, and how cold they were when you broke my heart.  
I still hear your voice in my head saying, over and over, “I don’t love you anymore.”

**Day 253**

I hate you.  
I threw away our photos.  
I love you.  
I saved my favorite one.

**Day 365**

It has been a year.  
I do not remember your laugh, I do not recall what you used to call me.  
But I still remember your address, and I cannot stop looking through the window each time I pass by.

**Day 453**

It’s your birthday today.  
We do not talk anymore  
I still love you.

**Day 522**

It’s my birthday and I almost didn’t think about you today.  
But at night, laying in my bed, all I could hear was your voice saying that you didn’t love me anymore.

**Day 522 pt.2**

I am drunk and I still love you.

**Day 523**

I am hangover and I still miss you.

**Day 582**

I don’t see out the window anymore.

**Day 641**

I cannot seem to get you out of my mind.  
Even during the days when I hate you, you are still there, making yourself known.

**Day 729**

I will never forget you.  
You were my first love, my first heartbreak.  
I will always hate you and listen to your last words on repeat.

**Day 858**

I saw you today for the first time in two years.  
We chatted a little.  
You told me about your life and I told you about mine.  
We are on neighbor campuses.  
You still love art, and engineering is still my life.  
I do not love you anymore.  
I have healed.

 

 

 

[read on Tumblr](http://pretendo-ser-feliz-sonriendo.tumblr.com/post/168494670095/and-tell-me-there-are-things-that-you-regret)

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find this work on Tumblr: http://pretendo-ser-feliz-sonriendo.tumblr.com/post/168494670095/and-tell-me-there-are-things-that-you-regret


End file.
